


Lost Boys

by ladyspock7



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Rivalry, Teen Angst, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-04-22 21:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4851437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyspock7/pseuds/ladyspock7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A teen Megamind tale. Megamind remembers everything from infancy. Metro Man doesn't, but his ignorance is even greater than either of them realize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Megamind felt the pressure on his back ease as the beam was lifted off. More dust rained down on him and cautiously he lifted his head, blinking in the dim gray light.

Metro Man smirked in triumph. “Well, can you walk or do I have to carry you out?”

He scowled and got to his feet, coughing and brushing off the dust from his black leather jacket, then clambered over the broken timbers and metal rods that formed the depression that had saved him from getting crushed.

“Oh, Sir, thank goodness you're all right!” Minion cried as he stumbled onto solid ground, and the light disappeared as Minion wrapped him in a bear hug.

“Oof!” Shaken, he couldn’t help but allow Minion to hold him, but not for long, not with his enemy watching. After a few deep breaths he pushed against the metal chest and Minion released him.

Taking a step back he gave the faithful henchfish a stern look. “I ordered you to vacate the premises, Minion,” he said.

Minion tapped his fingers together and shuffled his feet. “I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he mumbled. “The whole building came down.”

Megamind turned a cool look on the white-clad hero. “Yes, how about that, Metro Doofus? Rather excessive, don't you think? Bringing the whole building down on top of me?”

Metro Man waved a hand, dismissing his concerns. Secretly he'd been rather alarmed the abandoned apartment complex had collapsed so easily, and was relieved when he located the sound of Megamind's panicked heartbeats and harsh breathing underneath the rubble. “Aw, I knew you'd find a safe place. Besides, you shouldn't have robbed that bank. The gun, please.”

Silently, Megamind drew the de-gun and handed it to him. _I wish I could increase its power enough to penetrate that super-powered hide_.

Metro Man held the de-gun in his right hand, not bothering to stick it in his belt since he knew it would be too tight. “So where'd you stash the loot?” He ran his X-ray vision around in the depression and the surrounding area.

Megamind shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest, and smiled. The stolen cash was safely hidden four blocks away in a junk yard, cleverly disguised as a pile of rusted car parts, thanks to his portable hologram projector. Battle armor was not cheap, nor was the polymerized cloth he was developing for his new suit. His grand debut was only a few short weeks away. He had the name and the desire. Now he only needed the equipment to complete his transformation from street rat to supervillain.

Metro Man sighed. “Fine. Have it your way.” There was a rumble of thunder overhead, and they all looked up at the open sky through what was left of the broken walls. Lightning flashed deep within the dark clouds. “Man, this is some weird weather for December, huh?” Metro Man said. “Snow and lightning. I don't think I can fly you guys through this. So start walking.”

Megamind rolled his eyes, and he and Minion began picking their way across the debris field. “You could use your super-speed to run, you know.” Brushing at his jeans, which had become gray from plaster dust, he raised a small cloud and coughed again.

“In a hurry to get turned over to the cops?” Metro Man said with a grin. Megamind scowled and shook his head. “So what's the occasion?” the hero asked, floating over the broken timbers. “Whenever you break out, you've always got something in mind.”

“It was my birthday eight days ago,” said Megamind. “Or as near to my actual birthday as I have been able to figure, since traveling at light-speed through the depths of space makes such calculations tricky.”

Metro Man gave him a bright smile. “Wow, I didn't know that! We're almost the same age. Except you're only seventeen.”

Megamind gave him a dirty look. “Brilliant deduction.”

“So a little outing to celebrate, huh?” said Metro Man, unfazed by his nemesis' sour attitude. “You got a birthday, Minion?”

Minion said, “Well, I hatched in the summer. So I just kind of set it on June 1st. I'm twenty.”

“Think of the bash we'll have on his next birthday,” Megamind said with an ee-vil smile. “He'll be old enough to drink. We may just have to blow up something really big.” He nudged Minion with his elbow and a pleased blush turned Minion's cheeks a darker green.

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” said Metro Man.

“Think of today's amazing bank robbery as a little present to you, as well,” Megamind said. “You ought to thank me for getting you out of that boring old birthday bash.”

He gave the blue boy a disapproving look. “It's not just any old birthday. I turned eighteen, it's a big deal. My folks invited over three hundred guests. It's Christmas too, you know.”

Megamind clapped his hands to his cheeks. “Already?” he cried. “And we haven't even gotten a tree yet. Merciful heavens, Minion, what will Santa think?”

They got out of the ruined building and onto the sidewalk. “This way, guys,” Metro Man said, pointing down the street. “Nearest police roadblock.”

“Now that you're an adult, at least you can legally call yourself Metro Man now,” said Megamind with a sneer. “Must be a huge load off your goody-two shoes conscience. You should have called yourself Metro Boy until you came of age. Or Metro Dork, or Metro Savior. Is that why they chose to celebrate your wonderful b-day on the 25th? To reinforce the connection in the minds of the populace?”

“It's the day I was born, it's not like I can help that,” Metro Man said with a puzzled frown.

Megamind shrugged. “It's just the day you landed on Earth. For all of us. Close enough, I suppose.”

For a few moments there was only the sounds of their feet crunching on bits of old snow and ice.

“What do you mean?” asked Metro Man with a frown.

Megamind glanced at him with a frown of his own. _He's being unusually dense today._ “You see, it is a ver-y comp-li-cate-ed con-cept,” he said, talking in a slow, measured voice and punctuating the air with his hands. “The phrase 'close enough' has man-y mean-ings. In this con-text...”

Metro Man put a hand on his shoulder and stopped him. “No, not that! I mean, sort of that, but what do you mean? You mean you came to Earth on the day I was born?”

They stared at each other, both at a loss, but for different reasons.

“No,” Megamind said carefully, studying the hero's puzzled face, then shook his head and glanced at Minion. “This is the day we all landed on this planet. The three of us.”

Metro Man's face split into a grin and he chuckled. “You're not making any sense here, little buddy. You get hit on the head?”

Megamind’s mouth opened, but no words came out, so he shut it again. He looked at Minion, who wore a similar stunned expression.

{“Sir, I don't think he knows,”} Minion said in the language of the Paired Peoples which only he and Megamind knew.

{“It looks that way,”} Megamind said. {“He doesn't have any idea.”}

Metro Man looked back and forth between them. “What?” he snapped. “What are you saying?” He didn't know what was going on, but the meaningful looks passing between the alien boy and his henchfish were beginning to unnerve him.

Megamind could only shake his head, speechless at the magnitude of Wayne's ignorance. He grimaced when Metro Man grabbed him by the arm. “What don't I know?” he snapped.

Megamind looked pointedly at the massive hand that was on the verge of crushing his upper arm and turned a cold glare on him. “Laying hands on a prisoner in anger, hero?”

Metro Man let go, taking a step back and raising his white-gloved hands in a placating gesture. “You're right, that was uncalled for. But can you just tell me what you're talking about?”

“I'm just trying to process the overwhelming realization that you know nothing about your true origins.” In spite of his aching arm, a warm glow grew in Megamind's belly and spread throughout his limbs, offsetting the chill wind snaking around his legs and ears, and around the popped collar of his jacket. His smile widened as he turned his face to the dark sky. Thunder rumbled. _It really is Christmas after all._

Metro Man raised his arms to the side and let them fall again. “Well, what is it then?”

“Let's take this in stages, shall we?” Megamind steepled his fingers together in front of his chest. “First of all, you already know you're adopted so I think...oh my,” he said, with a low chuckle at Wayne's stunned look. “You didn't even know that? My goodness. There is an awful lot that Mommy and Daddy haven't told you, isn't there? Heh heh heh. Heeheeheehee!”

Before it could become a full-blown evil laugh, Metro Man took a step closer so he loomed over him, forcing Megamind to look up. He jabbed his finger at Megamind's chest, nearly leaving a dent. “You...” he growled. Then he huffed out a breath and shook his head. “That is a real whopper.”

“Oh, come off it, Wayne!” snapped Megamind, rubbing the new bruise. He refused to step back, though it was difficult to see his nemesis' face beyond his oversized chest. “You honestly think your awesome powers run in the magnificent Scott family? That you got your powers from Great-Grandma?” He paused and tilted his head thoughtfully. “Hmm. Actually, I suppose you did. Though she was not who you think she was.”

Metro Man worked his jaw. “I'm getting tired of this. Tell me what you supposedly know.”

“Very well, I'll rip off the band-aid. I hate to break this to you, Wayne,” he said, ee-vil grin growing wide. “But the simple truth is that you are not human. You are an alien, just like us.”


	2. Chapter 2

Metro Man's mouth fell open. The wind whipped his white cape back from his big shoulders. Then a laugh sounded from deep in his chest. “Oh, man, I can't believe I almost fell for that,” he said. He waggled his finger at Megamind. “You, my friend, are a genius.”

“Why, yes, I am,” Megamind said, examining his black-gloved fingers.

“How could I not be human?” He pointed at himself. “Just look at me!”

“Do I have to?” Megamind said with a grimace. He shook his head. “Physical appearance counts for little, genetically. You may look human, and an acceptably white one at that, but you are not of this world.”

“There are other supers. There's all kinds of ways I could have gotten these powers!”

Megamind raised a sardonic eyebrow. “Did your pregnant mother get caught in a fiery chemical explosion from a secret lab at some point? As she drove home from a charity event, perhaps?”

“So I'm an alien.” A skeptical smirk settled on Metro Man's face.

Megamind laughed. “I'm telling the truth, Hero Boy. You arrived on Earth on the exact day that Minion and I arrived.”

“On the same flying saucer, I suppose.”

“Don't be ridiculous. Minion and I were in one spacepod, you were in the other. We bounced into the prison yard, you landed in the Scott mansion, and the rest is history.”

“That is the stupidest thing I ever heard.”

Megamind shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. “Ask Minion. He remembers.”

“Yeah, like he won't back up any story you make up,” Metro Man said disgustedly. “Am I right?”

The ichthyoid looked at him somberly. “It's true, Wayne.”

“So where is this spacepod?”

“How should I know?” snapped Megamind. “The attic? I don't even know where mine is.” He'd hacked into numerous secret government files without success. The feds had hidden their trail unusually well. Other than a few newspaper articles and dry government documents that didn't do any more than provide a bare physical description of the spacepod, he couldn't find any mention of it, not what it was made of, or where it was stored, or whether it had been dismantled. Nothing.

He gave the glowering hero a thoughtful look. The attic. Perhaps he should try again, with a different set of search parameters, focusing on the holdings of the Scott family. It would not be the first time that Metro Man's father had interfered in Megamind's life.

Metro Man scowled and waved his arm down the sidewalk. “Let's get going.”

Lifting his chin, Megamind clasped his hands behind his back and began walking again, at a casual stroll. They walked in silence between the gray buildings, with only the sound of the wind and their footsteps. Just as Megamind's ears caught the first hint of a police radio he said, “Why don't you give your folks a call?”

“And ask them if I came flying out of the sky in a spaceship? I'm not listening to you anymore.”

“It's a simple question, with a yes or no answer.”

“You're just delaying. I have to get back. My parents have over three hundred guests, you know.”

“You already said that, and I am just terribly impressed,” Megamind said, rolling his eyes. “If you are so weary of my presence you only have to whisk me over to the men in blue. They're just around that corner.”

He stopped and turned to look at Metro Man. “I think you like talking to me. I can only make an educated guess why. Are you attracted to my incredibly handsome good looks?" he said with a smirk and a wink. "Or perhaps it's because I'm the only one who won't kiss your gold-plated butt. And maybe you are not as sure of yourself as you would like. One simple call. On that fancy little phone you've got in your fancy belt.”

“This phone is from the police station, for work only.”

“Surely they won't object if you call your mommy just once. You can always pay them back later for the cost. Can you spare a few cents or did you use up your allowance?”

Metro Man glared at him, nostrils flaring, then he tucked the de-gun into the crook of his elbow and took out the phone. “Don't move,” he said, pointing a warning finger at them, and dialed. A tinny, muffled voice from the phone said, “Wayne? Where are you?”

“Yeah, hi Mom. Everything's okay, I'm almost done here.”

Raising his eyebrows, Megamind leaned theatrically close and put his hand to his ear.

Metro Man turned to the side and cupped his hands around the phone. “Yeah, I know, it was rude, taking off so suddenly,” he said with a heavy sigh. “Mm-hm. Uh-huh.”

Since Megamind could no longer make out what Metro Man's mother was saying, he glanced around at the boarded windows, calculating their chances of sneaking away, but such an attempt would be futile. A subway stop was only two short blocks away, but if they started running now, Metro Man would be on them in a flash and all Megamind would get was winded.

A heavy gust of wind blew a smattering of sleet against his bare head and ears, and only pride kept him from hunching his shoulders. An empty plastic bag winged its way down the street. He heard another burst of chatter from a police radio around the corner, and indistinct voices, muttering. He'd be out of this foul weather soon enough.

Still, discussing the situation with Minion was a way to pass the time, and it was possible a way of escape would present itself. A new idea could surface, or the situation might shift in their favor. Metro Man could suddenly keel over from a stress-induced heart attack, for example. Best to be prepared.

{“There is a...”} he began to say in their native tongue, then hesitated. He didn't know the words for 'subway station'. Presumably subways had existed on the homeworld. Or maybe they hadn't. His experience and vocabulary was incomplete, restricted to what he learned from his parents and a few other people in eight days, and built on Minion's vocabulary, which had been about the same as a three year old Earth child's when they escaped the destruction. Sometimes they resorted to words from other languages to fill in the blanks. But maybe Minion knew these words. They'd never talked about subways in their native tongue before.

“La estacion de metro,” he said, using Spanish so that Metro Lug wouldn't understand what they were talking about, unless he had magically become bilingual in the past few weeks.

Minion waved his fins thoughtfully. {“You want to say, 'cho reet miri ellsnah'.”}

He nodded. 'Station-for-train flowing under wave.' That made sense, though the phrasing was a little odd. Then again their homeworld Ah-Ri had been covered with a lot of water. {“Does that mean the tunnels were under the ground under the water? Or did they go through the water?”} he wondered.

“Ummm.” Minion scratched his dome as he thought back. {“I think there were both. The waterways were like big...”} He waved his fins and opened his robot arms simultaneously. “...hamster tunnels,” he said, dropping back into English.

Metro Man glanced at them.

 _Uh oh,_ Megamind thought. _He is listening. Minion should have used Spanish._

“Just a second, Mom,” he said, covering the phone. “Why are you guys talking about hamsters?”

“We're getting a pet,” Megamind said. “Exotic hamsters from the mountains of Nepal.”

Narrowing his eyes, Metro Man turned back to the phone. Megamind watched him for a moment before resuming the conversation. {“The subway station is two streets away.”}

{“We won't make it. He'd catch us.”}

{“We could hide in one of these buildings.”} Even as he said it he knew it was a terrible plan, with no more chance of success than making a break for the subway, and his temper flared. {“Why did you have to get caught?”} he muttered. He kicked a styrofoam cup against the nearest wall.

{“I thought you got hurt.”} The faithful ichthyoid gave him a defiant look.

{“Now I have to free myself, you, and the de-gun. It's not good, Minion.”} It was more than a matter of imprisonment, he feared for Minion's life. About two years ago Megamind had been transferred to juvenile hall, because it dawned on the powers-that-be that an adult prison was no place for a teenage criminal.

Minion was classified as a dangerous animal and was at risk of being destroyed, but the warden, John Parker, vigorously fought against any such action. At least the old man was good for something, Megamind thought. The warden stubbornly held on to his fatherly role, despite Megamind's efforts to dissuade him, and came around on a regular basis to shake his head at Megamind's latest bruises and try to talk him out of villainy. Minion's well-being was one of the few subjects they could discuss without it turning into a shouting match.

The henchfish inhabited a gray area in which there was a great deal of debate, encouraged by the warden since it delayed the courts from doing anything drastic, about whether he ever intentionally harmed anyone without provocation, or whether it was his robot suit that really caused the damage. They could have simply asked Minion about the fights he'd been involved in, but that would have defeated the purpose of defining him as an animal.

As a compromise, they would strip Minion of his robot body and send him home with the warden. Or at least Parker used to take him home. He got tired of Megamind breaking into his house to steal Minion back, so now he kept Minion in the office aquarium at the prison. It made no difference to Megamind, but at least the warden didn't have to keep replacing his own locks.

Parker was working on getting some certificate to prove that Minion was a sentient being with rights, but so far without success. Megamind was not going to sit around and wait for some silly piece of paper to protect Minion from getting executed, but the police and prison guards wised up to the fact that he'd always spring his faithful friend from the pokey and he had to act quickly after his own escape before they had time to set up an ambush.

Minion straightened up the robot suit in a stoic manner. {“I'm sure I'll be fine, Sir,”}

{“Next time, follow orders,”} Megamind said crossly.

Minion wouldn't look at him.

{“You will do as I command,”} he said.

“All right!” Minion cried.

Metro Man scowled and flapped a hand at them to keep quiet. “Listen, Mom. I've got something to ask you. Now, this might seem kind of crazy but...did you find me in a...”

“Golden spacepod,” Megamind said loudly.

There was a sharp question from the phone. “Nobody, Mom,” Metro Man said quickly, turning the phone away.

Megamind snorted.

“But, did you? Find me in a golden spacepod?” There was silence on the other end of the line, then the voice spoke up again, slowly and hesitantly.

Megamind watched with interest as the hero's forehead wrinkled, his eyes widened, and the corners of his mouth turned down, but all he said was “Oh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. Uh-huh...” in a dull voice.

Sighing heavily, Megamind stamped his feet to get some blood moving in his legs. If the blowhard was going to have a mental situation, he wished he would hurry it up.

“No, Mom, I'm not mad. Really. I just... Yeah, we can talk more later. Bye.” Clicking the phone off, he slipped it back into the case on his belt. He walked over to the curb and sat down, carefully placing the de-gun on the ground next to him, then rested his elbows on his bent knees and wrung his hands together, staring off into space. Lightning flashed deep in the clouds, and thunder growled.

Megamind studied his slumped shoulders for a moment, then cocked an eyebrow at Minion. It wasn't a heart attack, but it was something. He walked over to the sagging hero and placed his hand on his shoulder. “This must be a terrible shock for you.”

He put the toe of his boot against the de-gun and pushed it backwards. Gritting his teeth at the soft scraping noise it made, he said loudly, “Still, I'm sure it's for the best. At least it's all out in the open now.” Waggling his free hand behind his back, he gestured at Minion to pick it up.

“I just can't believe it,” Metro Man said in a hushed voice.

“Mm-hm, mm-hm, well, I'm sure they meant to tell you when you were ready.” He sensed Minion edging closer and gave Metro Man's shoulder a sympathetic pat, talking to cover up the ichthyoid's stealthy movements. “Parents always mean well, they never mean to cause harm, no doubt they were certain you'd have questions, you'll have to forgive them, they're only human.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the robot hand lift the de-gun off the ground. He made another gesture, using yet another language only he and Minion knew, the hand signals they sometimes used to pass along information. _Go. Now,_ he signed.

“I always knew I was different, I just never guessed how different,” Metro Man said, running a hand through his perfect hair. “I can't believe I was so stupid.”

“Neither can I,” Megamind muttered. “I mean, yes, everyone feels that way. Different, is what I'm trying to say. Alienated from society to a certain degree. Heh. Just think about that for a moment,” he chuckled. “You and I are really alienated, am I right?”

He listened for the sounds of movement that would indicate that Minion was sneaking away. He chanced a quick look back. To his extreme irritation, Minion stood there like a big metallic lump.

 _You come too,_ the ichthyoid signed.

Damn it! Soft-hearted fool. Both of them couldn't possibly get away. This was Minion's chance to slip the noose and get away with the de-gun. Two out of three was the best that could be hoped for in this situation. He wished he could tell Minion that, but any speech at all, even in a language that Metro Oaf didn't know, would remind said oaf of Minion's presence, and that would not do.

Again Megamind signaled, jabbing the signs at the reluctant henchfish as if he could physically push him down the sidewalk. _GO. NOW. GO. NOW._

He jerked his attention back to the hero with an expression of intent concern as Metro Man shifted his weight to look up at him. “And you always knew,” said Metro Man. “You never told me.”

“Well, I thought your parents would have told you. Or that you would have at least asked them where you came from. Didn't you have questions?”

Metro Man looked down at his clasped hands. “Mom told me my powers were a gift from God, and that I was here for a reason.”

“Weeeellll, yes, fair enough, but that doesn't really explain anything, does it?” Megamind said. He hoped Minion could make it down the block before he ran out of useless platitudes. “I suppose you could say that that's why we are all here, but really, what does it mean? Where do you come from, exactly? And I'm not talking about the birds and the bees, you should have asked for details. But I can't blame you for being upset. ”

Absent-mindedly he gave Wayne another hearty pat on the the shoulder and took a quick look up and down the sidewalk. Minion was nowhere in sight. He smiled. Excellent.

“What happened to our homeworld?”

Megamind's smile froze. “What?”

As the cold spread through him and gripped his throat, Metro Man looked up at him again, face bleak. “Our homeworld. What happened to it?” 


	3. Chapter 3

Megamind slowly took his hand away from Metro Man's shoulder. Wrapping his arms around his chest he took a few steps down the sidewalk.

  
“Don't you know? I guess I shouldn't have asked,” Metro Man said, getting to his feet.

  
“I know what happened,” Megamind said curtly, and took a deep breath, heaving it out into a sigh. “We are from different planets, in the same star system. I am one of the Calli, from the planet Ah-Ri. You are from the Glaupunk quadrant.”

  
He told him about the three inhabited planets and the four races who occupied them, the Calli and Ah-Kho on one who were known as the Paired Peoples, the Glau on Glaupunk, and the Sen, a race of sentient reptiles on the third, Frelek. And about the catastrophe that sent countless living beings to their deaths.

  
“It was a black hole,” he said in a flat voice. “I think it took us by surprise, because... the chaos. The windows went dark. There was panic. Sirens going off. People shouting, running. The ground shook. There were explosions, or maybe other ships were blasting off, I don't know. My mother was running, she carried me.”

  
He realized he was almost shouting and stopped. Rubbing his arms, trying to warm them, he continued. “She was running,” he said more quietly. “She stumbled and caught herself, and said a bad word.” He'd speculated with Minion a few times on what 'g'dzah' meant, the way his mother said it so explosively it must be a swear word, but Minion claimed to have never heard it before.

  
“We went into a building, I think it was where she worked, she'd taken me there before, and Papa met us. He put me into the spacepod, and Mama...” He hesitated. He almost said ‘gave Minion to me’ but he shouldn’t remind Wayne of Minion right now. It’d get the big oaf thinking of the ichthyoid’s current absence from the scene. _Bad enough I told him what Minion’s species is called._

  
Looking up at the sluggish black clouds he struggled to find a way to continue. He didn’t want to repeat his father's last words, or think about how his mother raised her hand to the pod as it began its ascent.

  
“The spacepod took off,” he said simply. “When it was clear of the atmosphere, I looked, and I saw it. A black hole, swallowing everything. Everyone.”

  
Idly he scuffed his boot against the sidewalk, kicking up pebbles. Mica, feldspar, and... pink granite? That didn't come from around here, not that color. Probably from some quarry out west of the Mississippi, caught in the treads of a truck, and fallen or knocked off here, on this deserted street. Unnoticed, and disregarded. Those little granules certainly had traveled a long way.

  
A large hand touched his back and he looked up.

  
Metro Man's somber face looked down at him. “You remember. That must be awful.”

  
Bitterness choked him. Wayne had never expressed any curiosity before about what happened to Megamind's home planet, it was only now that he knew that he was from the same star system that he even cared. _How dare he offer_ _sympathy!_

  
Megamind struck his arm away. “Save the moon eyes for your slobbering fans,” he said hoarsely. “I can tell you the reason you are here, on this planet, in this city. It was destiny. Cold, hard destiny has placed us at loggerheads. Our feet have been set on this path, and there is no turning back.”

  
It was a relief to get angry, to rave at this overfed scion of the upper-crust. To lash out at this privileged bastard who seemed to think they had a connection, a bond. The only bond they shared was enmity, and he was determined to make that _very_ clear.

  
Anger electrified him and he clung to it with gusto. He extended his arm and pointed at the corner behind which the cops waited. “They can't stop me. No prison can hold me. You may be the golden boy of the hour, but I will prevail. I will bring this pathetic city to its knees.”

  
“Over my dead body,” Metro Man said, brows furrowing.

  
“If you insist. You are the only one standing in my way. My people could have conquered this entire backwards planet like that,” he said with a snap of his fingers. “I am certain I can handle the takeover of a single metropolis. You may have captured me, but I have attained my objective. You will never find that money, and soon I will walk free. All right, Metro _Mahn_ , let's complete this little charade, and pretend that the police have any authority over me.”

  
Squaring his shoulders, Megamind strode around the corner and into the flashing red and blue lights.

  
“Ah, there you are! My most persistent admirers,” he said, lifting his arms in benediction. “Behold, your prodigal son has...”

  
“Hold it right there!” The cops had their guns out and trained on him.

  
“Easy, officers. I'm unarmed,” he said. Though he followed their instructions, kneeling and placing his hands behind his head, one of them found enough arrogance in his smirk to justify driving an elbow into his kidney when they had him flat on the ground. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be used...”

  
He tuned out the familiar drone of the Miranda rights. The senior officer was congratulating the hero. “But we still better frisk him, Metro Man. Just to be sure,” he said apologetically.

  
“I understand, Detective. You have a job to do, and I gotta admit, my X-ray vision doesn't always catch everything.”

  
Even with his cheek pressed into the asphalt, Megamind chuckled. “I'll say. Can't even find a few money bags. Maybe you should get your eyes checked.”

  
Metro Man's face, just visible in his line of sight behind the cops surrounding him, shot him a glare.

  
“No, no, son, you do a fine job,” the detective said.

  
Megamind couldn't help but laugh. “A damn fine job!”

  
A knee jabbed his sore kidney, cutting his laughter short. “Shut up,” the cop growled, and twisted his arms back to lock the cuffs onto his wrists.

  
“Can't see police brutality too well, either, hero! Selective sight!” Megamind sneered as they hauled him upright. “Didn't mean to insult your boyfriend, officer. Maybe you can soothe his hurt feelings with hugs and kisses later. So it's a win-win situation, yes?”

  
The detective looked around. “Where's Minion?”

  
Metro Man's eyes widened. He shot a furious look at Megamind then leaped into the blackening sky, turning his head this way and that while Megamind snickered. It was a painful business with bruised internal organs and all, but he wasn't going to pass up the chance to rub Metro Dupe's face in it.

  
“Lose someone, Fancypants?” he shouted. Those super-powered ears could have heard him even if he'd whispered, of course, but he wanted to make sure everyone could hear the drama.

  
A lightning bolt split the clouds, and thunder immediately followed with a giant crack. Metro Man floated to the ground again, looming over him. “Where did he go?” he demanded.

  
“Tsk, tsk,” said Megamind, clucking his tongue. “You know better than that.”

  
The detective put a hand on Metro Man's arm. “It's all right, son. We'll get him.”

  
Minion's successful escape cheered Megamind no end. “Want to bet? You'll have to excuse Mr. Goody Two-shoes here, officers, he's had a nasty existential shock. Mommy and Daddy never told him he was an alien from another world, so he's kind of...”

  
The blow fell against his jaw hard and at light-speed, making a rainbow of stars flash across his vision.

  
He found himself lying underneath one of the cops whom he had landed against before they both bounced off the squad car and ended up on the ground.

  
Megamind struggled out from under the stunned man, aided by the cop who came to help his partner sit up, and Megamind even managed a retaliatory kick in the process, though he wasn't entirely sure he'd gotten the one who'd done the kidney bruising. He rolled onto his knees and lurched to his feet, the harsh taste of blood in his mouth.

  
“Do it again,” he panted at Metro Man, who was staring at his own fist as if he didn't recognize it. He staggered another step to the side as dizziness threatened to tip him over, but he stayed on his feet and turned the other side of his face toward Wayne.

  
“Come on, Wayne. Hit me again, as hard as you can.” Blood dribbled down his chin. “Hit me. Try to change who you are. _What_ you are.”

  
Metro Man opened his fist and glanced at the cops. The detective looked at him with concern, but some of them avoided his gaze, and that hurt. He worked hard to gain their trust, and now suddenly they weren't so sure about him anymore.

  
A genuinely friendly person, it hurt when people were afraid of him. Or at least the right people. He only used his powers for good, and directed his strength against the criminal element. But striking a helpless prisoner? Even one as obnoxious as Megamind. That was wrong. He no longer knew who he was, but at least his duty hadn't changed. He had to do the right thing.

  
He forced himself to look Megamind in the eye. “I'm sorry,” he said. “I don't know what came over me. If you want to press charges, I'll understand.”

  
“Bite me,” Megamind snapped. “Press charges! What are they going to do, take away your cape?”

  
A muscle jumped in Metro Man’s jaw but he stepped around him and picked up the hat of the officer he'd inadvertently clobbered with the villain, and handed it to him. “Gosh, I'm real sorry, Officer Haines.” The man, still sitting on the ground and leaning against the car, accepted it with caution.

  
The detective made an impatient gesture at Megamind. “Get him out of here,” he snapped, and two men seized Megamind's arms and steered him toward another car. The wind blew harder, welding his jacket against his back, and freezing rain began to pour down.

  
“Nice talking to you, hero,” Megamind called. “You want another little chitchat, you know where to find me. For now. Better hurry, I won't be there for long.” The chuckle came out more as a wheeze, but as they pulled away, he saw Metro Man, his perfect hair plastered to his head by the rain, looking after the departing police car.

  
He slumped in his seat, giving himself over to the latest round of injuries. The whole side of his face ached, from jaw to temple. That blow landed so fast he didn’t even see it, and he knew that only Metro Man’s self-control kept it from becoming a killing blow.

  
Megamind wondered if the swelling would be gone by the time the warden got around to visiting. He supposed he better mentally prepare himself for another ‘are-you-trying-to-get-yourself-killed-what-were-you-thinking’ lecture.

  
“Don't you have any decency?” one of the cops said. Megamind opened his eyes and saw the man glaring at him in the rear-view mirror.

  
“Of course not,” he said. “I’m an ee-vil alien.” And closed his eyes again.


End file.
